Someone once told me that you will forever be in a situation until you learn the lesson in it. I look back at my life and try to reflect whether I have learnt all my lessons, as there is nothing as frustrating as feeling as though you are stuck in a senseless rut. As I ponder, I remember some of my trying moments in life and wonder how I even managed to get out alive. Situations in which you wish you could curl up and die. Betrayals and lies that run so deep you feel like you could never possibly recover from that blow.

The process seems to be the same. The shock, anger, and pain. The screaming and fighting. The disbelief and absolute denial that someone you love could ever hurt you in such a manner. Then the tears come. You weep like your heart would break. The apologies and self-absolution. “Oh my God” and “It wasn’t me”.

The tears finally run dry, and there you are. Spent, but no closer to the truth. Your brain begins its feeble attempt at rationalizing the whole issue. Your heart cowers every time the mind speaks, afraid of getting hurt again. It’s at this point you look in front of you and realize that you are at a junction. To your left lies the truth. Investigations, so to speak. Harsh words exchanged. The truth must out, so help me God. “Silence, dear heart of mine! You are too biased to be involved.” I find out the truth. But what do I do with it?

The other road, the one to my right, looks less trodden. Why? I ask myself. It is the road of blind faith; the road that lets go with no question. It is the path that demands of you absolute faith – sometimes more than that the mind can have. It speaks to the heart, and the heart listens. The mind rejects all notions that the road suggests; it is, after all, contrary to what it believes. The heart responds gladly, for it believes in the goodness of mankind. And after contemplating, after fighting the battle between mind and heart, I am walking down the road. Some look at me and think I am foolish or naive for making this choice, but the road less traveled gives me peace.


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2016 Integrity Report


I learnt of the concept of doing an annual integrity report from James Clear and thought it a brilliant accountability report that I would want to embody. His rationale for doing the integrity report is to document the steps he is taking to set a higher standard in his work, lead with honesty, and build a business that serves first.

For me, I feel that taking stock of where I am in life in light of my values forces me to see if I am truly living them out, and what I need to adjust. I hope to do this every year at the beginning, along with my Annual Report, as part of my annual time out and planning. The purpose of this report is to hold myself accountable to the lapses in judgment and making exceptions, as well as force myself to raise my personal bar.

Without much further ado, I present to you my 2016 Integrity Report:

What are the core values that drive my life and work?

  • God (devotion, gratitude, integrity, trust)
      • Am I spending time with God daily?
      • Am I letting go and letting God, i.e. putting my trust in Him?
      • Am I celebrating what is right in the world?
      • Am I choosing to live my every single moment  of my life with integrity even if sometimes choosing integrity is hard?
  • Growth (learning, habits, sacrifice, vision, love)
    • Am I living and working towards my personal vision?
    • Am I learning in coaching and coding?
    • Am I building habits that lead to continual improvement?
    • Am I sacrificing/doing what it takes for my dreams and values within the confines of all my values?
    • Am I loving myself as I am and working towards self-acceptance and self-improvement?
  • Servant Leadership (excellence, contribution, dependability, generosity)
    • Am I doing it once, doing it right and doing it fast and empowering others to do the same?
    • Am I contributing to the world or just consuming it?
    • Am I someone others can count on?
    • Am I giving of my time and finances to others?
  • Humanity (respect, courtesy)
    • Am I respectful of all beings?
    • Am I courteous? Am I understanding that it is the little things I do that goes a long way in making a difference?


How will I live and work with integrity?

  • Devotion/Quiet time: I am faithfully going to read the Bible daily and spend some time praying and delving further into the Word.
  • Mindful eating and exercising: I am watching my portions and minimizing the junk food I eat. I am reducing the number of times I eat out. I am minimizing the amount of carbs I am consuming. I am exercising for 30 minutes thrice a week.
  • Sleeping: I am sleeping 7 hours daily faithfully
  • Coaching: I am spending time sharing productivity tips and other nuggets I have picked up with a group of individuals.
  • Coding: I am re-teaching myself VB this year.
  • Keeping promises: I am keeping promises to myself and to others and do not commit to things that I will not see through.
  • Not gossiping: I am refraining from repeating gossip and bad-mouthing others.


How can I set a higher standard and live with more integrity in the future?

  • Stick to my schedule: In line with the point above about keeping promises, I need to get over the “I’m-so-busy” routine and making excuses for not achieving what I set out to do. I eliminate all distractions and complete three items I set out to do daily.
  • Empowering others to find their Voice and tell their own story: I am a person who learnt to have a Voice pretty early in my life, and now realize that this does not come easily to others. I am committing to help people in their voice-finding journey, by being a sounding board and giving feedback continuously. I am also working on a mentorship program towards the same.

If you enjoyed this post, I’d be very grateful if you’d help it spread by emailing it to a friend, or sharing it on Twitter or Facebook. Thank you!